Arg!

I hate when I really want something, and the entire universe just seems to be yelling back at me,

"NO!"

Just me.

While I was in Florida, I decided I really wanted to buy my dad a mug from Starbucks (you know the kind that you can write on like a blackboard).

So I went to the cashier to pay, and he commented on how another woman had been there earlier that evening looking for that same mug, and how I must have the last one in the store. I grinned at him and told him, "well, if she comes back, you can tell her I told her she can 'suck it!'."

Both of the boys working there laughed and told me that if they could give out customer of the day awards, I'd be getting a free beverage right about then.

It made me smile that just being me makes other people laugh.

I spend a whole lot of my life feeling like I'm making great progress towards being a better person.

Then sometimes I realize how much farther I have to go until I am one.

I'm seriously start to worry that I can't trust anyone.

Not like, "woe is me my life is so hard I have issues with my parents that reflect on everyone I meet."

But like, I feel like whenever I start to get especially close to someone, they give me a reason to back away. This ranges from blatant dishonesty to downright malicious behavior.
I haven't had trouble with people like this in years.

I wonder what the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this is. I hope I figure it out soon so thing can go back to normal.

I think I just archived scheduling Nirvana. I have 19 credit hours next semester, with no classes on Monday or Friday.

I've never been so excited for a semester of school in my entire life. I have lots of new adventures planned for my weekly four day weekends like...

Hiking to the top of Mollies Nipple in Hurricane, Utah.

Skiing in the Rockies with my cousins.

Of course my life isnt complete without a bi-annual trip to Capitol Reef

And who knows what other adventures life is bound to bring me, all I know is that it doesn't get any better then this, so I might as well enjoy it!

Not sospecial

I'm not unique.
And I'm not special on a level where I'm completely irreplaceable.

And neither is anyone else.

I love that about being human.

Feeling unique is so lonely to me, and honestly, pretty darn self-centered. I don't understand how some people can go about their entire lives thinking that no one else had ever or will ever be anything like them. I like finding people who are just like me.

I find lots of people like me, but I'd been feeling especially standoffish this week. Except today, on my run I ran into an old friend, who was also just getting back into running, who loves to do the same stuff as me, and when they invited me in for a drink of water, they had the same favorite mug as me.

That to me was more special than all of that stuff by myself.