Arg!

I hate when I really want something, and the entire universe just seems to be yelling back at me,

"NO!"

Just me.

While I was in Florida, I decided I really wanted to buy my dad a mug from Starbucks (you know the kind that you can write on like a blackboard).

So I went to the cashier to pay, and he commented on how another woman had been there earlier that evening looking for that same mug, and how I must have the last one in the store. I grinned at him and told him, "well, if she comes back, you can tell her I told her she can 'suck it!'."

Both of the boys working there laughed and told me that if they could give out customer of the day awards, I'd be getting a free beverage right about then.

It made me smile that just being me makes other people laugh.

I spend a whole lot of my life feeling like I'm making great progress towards being a better person.

Then sometimes I realize how much farther I have to go until I am one.

I'm seriously start to worry that I can't trust anyone.

Not like, "woe is me my life is so hard I have issues with my parents that reflect on everyone I meet."

But like, I feel like whenever I start to get especially close to someone, they give me a reason to back away. This ranges from blatant dishonesty to downright malicious behavior.
I haven't had trouble with people like this in years.

I wonder what the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this is. I hope I figure it out soon so thing can go back to normal.